


Since I've Been Loving You

by islasands



Series: Lambski [32]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Reunion, Separation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-09
Updated: 2012-02-09
Packaged: 2017-10-30 20:34:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/335786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islasands/pseuds/islasands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Separations are often easier to endure than reunions....</p><p>This fic-let is unashamedly inspired by Adam's mention of Led Zeppelin's "Since I've Been Loving You". You might like to listen as you read...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Since I've Been Loving You

"SINCE I'VE BEEN LOVING YOU"

  


Led Zeppelin

  


The taxi driver left his luggage on the side of the driveway and drove away. Adam looked down the driveway at the steps that led up to the entrance to their house, and yes, he was there, waiting on the second step.

For a moment neither moved as the ligature of their bonds – mind to mind, soul to soul, groin to groin – were tightened as though by a cork screw. These cords had easily accommodated the length and distances of their separation; they had stretched across an ocean without any strain. In fact, missing each other had been a pleasureable easy-to-pass test of their harmonious relations, mainly occurring late at night when the lullaby aspect of sleeping in someone’s arms counts most and is most missed.

That was not the case now when only several feet and not several thousand miles lay between them. Nor was it pleasure guiding Adam towards what had been, in his mind, an eagerly anticipated reunion. Anger, not gratification, threw itself up in his chest like a plume of spray, like sea water seething in the recess of rocks. He felt enraged by the magnitude of his feelings. Whether love or lust, he could hardly bear the fury of knowing what Sauli meant to him. His placid acceptance of Sauli's absence was replaced by a tumultuous, irrational rejection of it ever happening again. His platitudes about being in a committed, harmonious relationship fell off his raw emotions like scales. He didn't 'love' Sauli. The word was too weak to contain the meaning of what he felt when he saw him standing there, blue eyes gleaming, his strong jaw and cheek bones protecting the soft, boyishly expectant life of his lips. "Fuck my life," Adam thought.

It was raining lightly but he had no concern for his luggage. He moved towards the steps. Without saying a single word of greeting he took hold of Sauli’s jacket front and used it to pull him down from the step and then push him against the side of the house. The feeling in his chest was so tantamount to anguish, to a feeling of loss rather than gain, that he felt he was losing his mental footing. It did not help that he could feel Sauli caving in, collapsing into him, with a surrender so violent it twanged against his chest, hitting him like a recoiling spring. All he wanted at that moment was to push him away and pin him against the wall with his arm outstretched. He couldn’t bear to kiss him, had no desire to touch him.

“No,” he said, enacting his wish. He pushed him away and turned his head to avoid seeing Sauli’s face. Sauli closed his eyes. The light rain, as though understanding their need for an intervention of tenderness, suddenly fell with conviction. Adam heard it splattering on the concrete. Without lessening the pressure of his hand splayed against Sauli’s chest, he slowly leaned in against him. “You,” he said, and it was all he could say. The steady falling of rain, the way it darkened the air and drummed its fragrance into his head, diverted the fury of his love away from his chest and into his groin. He abruptly released Sauli and walked away to get his luggage. Sauli followed him to lend assistance. The physicality of their shared labour suddenly gave Adam access to his desire. He took Sauli in his arms. Sauli dropped the bag he was holding. They kissed in the rain. “Fuck,” Adam said, looking into Sauli’s eyes. “Fuck,” he repeated, shaking his head as he enclosed Sauli’s lips with his own, pulling him closer, letting the rain say what he could not.

They went upstairs and dumped the luggage in the hallway. Sauli took Adam’s hand and led him to their bedroom. He pushed Adam onto the bed and undressed him, top to toe. Then he undressed himself while Adam watched. He moved towards the bed but Adam held up his hand. “Not yet. I want to look. Tell me what you what you are thinking. Tell me what you want.”

“I missed the weight of you,” Sauli said, and his eyes glistened at the thought. Adam jumped up and manhandled him onto the bed. He laid him on his back and then crouched over him. He lowered himself so that his erection brushed against Sauli. “Fuck you for meaning so much to me,” he said. He collapsed his full weight into Sauli’s flesh, grinding against him, gripping his throat with one hand, pulling his head back by the hair with the other, and forcing Sauli’s lips to support the weight of his head. Now that he had him where he wanted him he could feel the full implicatory force of their separation. He needed flesh and bones beneath him before he could feel what it had meant to be without him – for a mere ten days, but those ten days were ten days too long. Now he could fuck that agony into oblivion. He would annihilate it and himself and Sauli. He would fuck his lover's entire body, his slight and immeasurably dear to him frame. He would fuck him until he couldn’t stand or walk. Not even to the fucking bathroom. He would not tolerate the slightest gap coming between them.

“You’re mine,” he said, holding Sauli’s legs apart and in the air, poised to prove his point, nudging his erection at him. All his.

"Say it," he said, pushing inside him.

“I am yours,” Sauli said, frowning at the delay in possessing all of the man who was his. 

Noting and gratified by that impatience, Adam slowly pushed his way into him, filled with the same implacable sense of direction as the blind and resolute falling of the rain.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Since I've been Loving You" by Led Zeppelin

Working from seven to eleven every night,  
It really makes life a drag, I don't think that's right.  
I've really been the best, the best of fools, I did what I could, yeah.  
'Cause I love you, baby, How I love you, darling, How I love you, baby,  
I'm in love with you, girl, little girl.  
But baby, Since I've Been Loving You, yeah. I'm about to lose my worried mind, ah, yeah.

Everybody trying to tell me that you didn't mean me no good.  
I've been trying, Lord, let me tell you, Let me tell you I really did the best I could.  
I've been working from seven to eleven every night, I said It kinda makes my life a drag, drag, drag, drag..  
Lord, yeah, that ain't right... no no  
Since I've Been Loving You, I'm about to lose my worried mind.

Said I've been crying, yeah, oh my tears they fell like rain,  
Don't you hear them, Don't you hear them falling,  
Don't you hear them, Don't you hear them falling.

Do you remember mama, when I knocked upon your door?  
I said you had the nerve to tell me you didn't want me no more, yeah  
I open my front door, I hear my back door slam,  
You know I must have one of them new fangled, new fangled back doors man.

I've been working from seven, seven, seven, to eleven every night and It kinda makes my life a drag...  
a drag, drag, oh yeah it makes a drag.  
Baby, Since I've Been Loving You, I'm about to lose, I'm about lose lose my worried mind.  
Just One more, Just One more  
Oh yeah, since I've Been Loving You, I'm gonna lose my worried mind.


End file.
